


Two disasters, one princess and zero regrets

by KatiesGhost



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, Alternative Universe - Fairytale, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Peasant Hux, Prince Kylo Ren, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-20
Updated: 2018-08-24
Packaged: 2019-03-21 21:46:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 18,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13749852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KatiesGhost/pseuds/KatiesGhost
Summary: Two young men meet in the middle of a forest.One is a poor son of a baker and the second is a wayward prince, unfortunately, they're both on the same quest.Will they cooperate? Will they kill each other? Will they make out? And who will marry the princess?





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> ....Because who doesn't love fairy tales, am I right?
> 
> \------  
> The name of Hux's mother is pronounced mʌdlenkʌ or mʌdlʌ!

In a land so far that if you ever wanted to go there, you would have to cross ten mountain ranges, go through the cave of a human eating cyclops and cross five seas. The Ancient Sea – which was the youngest of them; the Emerald Sea – where the mermaids lived; the Coldest Sea – where King Joselin’s mother died of cold feet; the Sea – which was the oldest of them and was simply called “The Sea” because in the times long past nobody thought that there would be more than one; and lastly, the Last Sea – which was essentially the last sea on travelers’ journey there and wasn’t originally named like this, its original name,Jikl’o’peag’hij – which meant, in the Southern dwarf dialect, a very big spit – too difficult to pronounce After overcoming all this, you would have to go across the Poesht desert and then…then you’ll still be only half way there but it was fairly simple road from here.

Its inhabitants were often cursing the fact that they had to live so far.

Our story begins in a small village on the edge of the kingdom of Arkanis. It was maybe the most ordinary village in the whole kingdom. There was a little bakery, a watering hole, an old herb doctor, practically everything you would expect in a small village, and nothing more. The most exciting thing to ever happen in this part of the world was the Southern king once mentioning the village at his court, but only because he thought it was a poppy seed lying on his battle map.

Truth be told, there was maybe one thing out of the ordinary that happened in this backwater place, but that’s a story for another time. (Still, dear reader, please remember it because it will be vital somewhere later in the story.)

It was a late morn when the baker closed the little shop she had in the small yard in front of her house – she didn’t have anything more to sell. She pushed the wooden table closer to the house and dusted off her hands covered with flour. It was nearly noon, the sun shining high in the cloudless sky. She was happy that it wasn’t summer yet, because the days weren’t so hot, even though nature had already awakened from its winter slumber two months ago.

When she entered her home, she could hear soft snoring coming from the main room. It was a small house, but it was enough. There was a cooking place in the centre of the room, adjoined to a big oven decorated with ceramic tiles with blue floral design; a bed with feather filled blankets and pillow; a table with three chairs and a big wooden basin.

Madla, short for Madlenka, sighed when she saw that her son was still asleep. He was lying under the blankets on the top of the oven, which was still pleasantly warm, only the shock of his red hair peeking out from the mass of white sheets. Her son was the only thing she had left from her family in this part of the kingdom. She wasn’t native, not at all, but she fell in love with the country and wanted to raise her son in the place where he was born. She came into this village twenty years ago, with her son wrapped up in a blanket the doctor gave her. He was the smallest thing she had ever seen, and the most precious treasure she ever had. And she always wanted only the best for him.

“Armitage, wake up, it’s almost noon.” She had to stand on her toes to reach him up there, but she managed it, and ruffled his hair a little. There was a noncommittal sound and some stirring but nothing else. It was Saturday, his free day. He always helped her during Sundays (which were the busiest, since people weren’t working so much and wanted to buy sweet cakes, tarts and kolache and other types of pastries as desserts after their Sunday lunches) and on other weekdays too, by tending to their hens, rabbits and a cow named Anna, or as they called her, Anichka.

“Armie, I’m serious,” Madla grabbed a wooden cooking spoon and swatted him a little. “I need you to go to buy some beer from the innkeeper.”

“I’m awake, mum, there’s no need to hit me like a dog,” Armitage grumbled and rolled over onto his stomach. “Good morning,” he smiled at her and rubbed his eye with the heel of his hand. “You look,” he yawned, “very pretty today.”

Madla rolled her eyes, hands on her hips. “And you look as if sparrows were nesting in your hair. Get up and make yourself useful, or you won’t get lunch.”

“I can always buy something in the inn, you know?”

“You mean steal?”

“Na-ah.” The baker’s boy jumped down from his sleeping place and dragged the blanket with him. “I would pay for it by working for them tomorrow evening; they can always use a pair of hands during the evenings. And I am very good at peeling potatoes.”

“You’re good with talking yourself out of work, that’s what you are.” She smiled at him when he leaned down to her and kissed her forehead. She wondered how he got so tall, her little boy. It had to be something he inherited from his father’s side of the family, with Armitage’s father being even slightly taller than him. 

 

Armitage put on his brown trousers and white shirt with wide balloon sleeves and pulled on his leather boots which were probably older than their cow. He didn’t bother with combing his hair more than necessary and washed his face with water from the pitcher. Madla handed him some coins from her purse where she stored money from the stall and set off into the nonexistent wildlife of their village. 

Everybody in the village knew him, for everyone knew everyone,  so he nodded quiet hellos to everybody he met. The inn was only a few houses down the street, behind a wooden fence that had seen better days. There was a notice board in the front yard where people could add their work or selling offers, warnings about the wildlife or bandits, or just gloat that their daughter was getting married to the richest farmer from the neighbouring village. Armitage stopped by the notice to see if there was something worth his attention and frowned a bit when he saw a royal notice.

 

Inside of the inn, it was as calm as always, there were few regulars and visitors (probably merchants or travelers on their way to the nearest town), along with Julian, the innkeeper, and his wife Matilda, who was, in her young days, famous for sleeping with passing by sellswords in the back room

“Armitage! Hello! You’re here for the beer, ‘ey?” Julian smiled at the young man from behind his counter. How he fitted in there was beyond everyone; his stomach was as big as a barrel. “Wait here, I’ll fetch it for ya.” 

Armitage was left standing by the counter, waiting for Julian to bring him his goods when ‘Tilda approached him. “Oh hello, darling.” She patted his back and put an empty tray on the bar. “How is your mother doing?” 

“She’s fine,” Tage smiled at her politely and nodded, not wanting to talk with her. She was the biggest gossip far and wide and everyone knew that. 

“I didn’t see you today at the stall when I was there to buy some bread for our diners.” 

“I wasn’t there.”

“Exactly, you weren’t. Shouldn’t you be helping her with the shop?” 

“Shouldn’t you be minding your own business?” he snapped at her and frowned. She kept staring at him for a few long moments before disappearing to tend to their guests. Julian didn’t take long before appearing with the demijohn filled with beer and Armitage gave him the money in trade for it. He was happy to be able to go back home. 

 

Every day was almost the same for Armitage. He would help his mother take care of the animals they had and then they would bake so they had something to sell. People weren’t paying them much but it was enough to get by. Sometimes, when there was a celebration in the village, the sells were higher but it still wasn’t often enough for them to save something for worse times. 

 

“Lada is going to have a baby.” Armitage was pouring more soup on his plate when his mother spoke. “Her mother told me this morning.” 

“Well, that’s… good for her.” He nodded and looked at her from under his fringe. “Should I go and congratulate her and Hans?” 

Madla shook her head. “No,” she pursed her lips a little, “I was just thinking…” 

“Mother, no.” He looked at her as he grabbed his spoon and started eating. “Please, don’t start again.”

“I’m not starting with anything, darling, I’m just concerned about you.”

“Well, then don’t be.” 

“That’s easy for you to say, Armie. You’re twenty-five, you won’t be any younger, and neither will I. I just… I would love for you to find a loving and apt wife. Somebody who would help you with the bakery when I’m not here.” 

“When you’re not here? Are you planning on going somewhere?” He raised his eyebrows; he knew exactly what she was talking about, he just didn’t want to have this discussion. It was a talk they had at least once a month for the last two years. 

“Armitage.” 

He sighed and set down his spoon, hating the look she was giving him. “Mama, I think I’m capable of helping you with baking even without a wife and children. We’ve talked about this a hundred times, I won’t change my mind. And I don’t want to stay in this hole, you know this. We both should move into the town, you can open a bakery there and-”

“I can open a bakery there? And what about you?” 

“Well, I could help you, I guess. But...You can find yourself a husband there, too, you know? And he could help you instead of me.” 

“Instead of you?” 

Armitage nodded.

“So you could sleep on the oven until afternoon and not work a day until the end of time?” 

“No, of course not…” He frowned. 

“Your plan has one little flaw, darling. We don’t have any money.”  

She was right and Armitage knew it. That was why he had already decided that he would do something about it. So he pulled a piece of paper from his trousers and set it on the table. “Here.”

“What’s this?” 

“There’s a reward for a cursed princess, I will save her and I’ll get a lot of money for it and then we can move into the town and live happily ever after.” He smiled at his mother as if it was the simplest thing ever. 

“My son wants to save a cursed princess.” She looked at him sceptically. 

“Yes.”

“Do you even know how is she cursed?” 

“No.” He shrugged, “Why should it matter?” 

“Because you could get yourself killed, Armitage!” 

“I could but I won’t. It’s simple.”

“Armitage…” She sighed. “There has to be a simpler way than this. You could always go and ask the golden fish in the southern kingdom.” She smiled at him hopefully. 

“I don’t want to ask some golden fish, they’re fishy.” 

“Armitage…”

“No, mother. Don’t  _ Armitage _ me,” he scowled at her. “I’m going to rescue that princess and no one will stop me.” 

“Do you know that you will have to marry her, right?” 

“What?”

“That’s the rule. You rescue a princess, you marry her.” 

“I don’t want to marry her. I just want the money.” 

“My silly boy…” She patted his hand and got up from the table, “Stop talking nonsense and help me clean the table.” 

 

Even though Madla thought Armitage’s plan was stupid, she couldn’t change his mind. He had always been a stubborn boy and even more so now when he was a man grown. She could only pray that he would not fall into some trap or that wolves or giants wouldn’t eat him. 

The very next morning, right after the rooster’s crowing, Armitage was biding his mother goodbyes in their front yard. He was dressed in his finest clothes; brown leather boots, crimson red breeches with flower embroidery on its lower seams, white shirt and blue jacket that his mother bought for him, so that if he ever got married he would have something nice to wear. He had slung a pouch over his shoulder and took a wooden stick on which he attached a white kerchief filled with buchtel with plum jam. 

“Take care, Armitage. And come home soon, alright, darling? If it is more dangerous than you thought it would be and you won’t be able to go on, just…just come back home. I won’t blame you. We will find some other way.”

“I will, mama, I promise.” 

She nodded, eyes filled with tears. “I don’t want to lose you, Armie. You’re the only thing I have left.”

“I will come back sooner than you’ll know.” He kissed her on her cheek and hugged her.

“I love you, my little boy. Remember it. I love you more than anything.” She patted his cheek and smiled sadly. 

Armitage nodded and sighed, “Goodbye mama.”

And with that, he left his home behind.

 

He made it past the kingdom border when the reality of what he had done hit him, and he broke down. Never in his whole life had he been this far from home. He sat down on the border stone and wept, tears silently falling from his emerald eyes. He didn’t even know where to go and how to get there. He hadn’t planned it through. 

“What am I doing here?” He whispered with a shaking voice and gazed into the distance. He was shocked that there hadn’t been any border control since it was known that people somehow tend to run away from Arkanis; their king wasn’t the nicest one. 

It was said, that long time ago he wasn’t so bad but then something awful happened to him and he was not the same ever since. 

 

To Armitage’s bad luck, he wasn’t the only one who decided that he would go save the poor cursed princess from her prison.

 

Many miles away, lay another kingdom, the Kingdom of Alderaan.

It was by far the youngest of the kingdoms in these lands, being established only three generations ago. The weather there was very hot and sunny for most of the year, and it was said that its inhabitants were just like the sun itself – joyful, loving and always warmly welcoming to all kinds of people looking for a refuge. The Queen who reigned was known for her wit, sharp mind and a charming smile; but don’t be mistaken, she could be a very dangerous opponent when faced with someone who would want to harm her people, especially her family.

Imagine how hard it was for her, when it was her family that caused her the most pain.

Nobody knew what exactly happened the day when her only son decided to ditch his family name and leave the castle. He went on a journey to kill every living monster there was and to save every princess he could find. The word spread out and soon there were songs about a handsome young man with dark hair who was braver than a lion and stronger than a bear. His sword so often bloodied that people started to spread tales about it being red and shining like a ruby. Nobody wanted to cross his path because nobody ever survived meeting him.

He was like a demon people feared, but secretly admired.

And now he was on his way to save the same princess as our poor baker’s son.

The hooves of a black mare were thundering against the forest’s road, stones jumping away from the ground with every other step of the galloping horse. The sun was setting down and everybody in their right mind knew that it was not safe to travel the woods after twilight. Not even the locals were brave enough to set foot on the wood’s paths, not when they could help it. This rider, however, had never been like the ordinary folk.

He was riding on a road by a lake, the water surface illuminated by the silver moon, when it happened.

It all came to pass very quickly. Something ran out from the forest right in front of the fast approaching horse. First, the horse startled, then it stood on its hind legs, scaring the poor thing that startled it in the first place, so much that it fell into the lake, and the last thing the rider knew, he was following the spook into the water.

“Seven hells!” The rider broke the water and took a deep breath. The water was cold and he was sure that there were drowners or at least a water sprite. “What the…What…” He looked around himself to see what was that bogeyman, who scared his horse and set him flying into the water. He could see bubbles coming from the water not far from him and then someone emerged from under the water, taking shuddering breaths and trying to orient himself. It had an antler coming from its head and instead of hair there were weird looking green algae.  The rider was sure that he wouldn’t be able to defend himself when he was in a lake up to his shoulders, so he quickly started swimming to the shore and pulled himself out of the water; pulling out his sword.

“Who are you?” he thundered. The creature in the water blinked at him from under the algae and visibly tensed. “Come out of the water so I can kill you like a real man!”

“What?” The creature piped with fear, but then seemed to regain its composure as it slowly swam towards the shoreline and grabbed one of the roots to pull itself out. “You want to kill me?” It sneered, though it was visibly trying not to shake from the cold, which ruined the effect.

“Don’t you know who I am, stupid creature?!”

“I don’t think so, no… But let me guess, you are an idiot with a horse who is riding faster than is the permitted speed.” 

The rider frowned and pointed at the stranger with his weapon. “What are you?” He started to slowly approach the strange being, scowling at it. 

“Drenched.” It scoffed. “Just because of you!” It started palming its hair and made a disgusted face. It somehow pulled the algae away and even the antler, which seemed to be a small tree branch. It wasn’t some forest creature clad in human clothing, it was a young man. Absolutely drenched and dirty from the muddy lakeshore. 

“I’m wet too, as you should know since you are the reason I fell into the lake in the first place.” The rider hid his swords back into its scabbard.

“You wouldn’t have fallen in there if you hadn’t been riding at such a high speed! You could have killed me!” 

“Then maybe you shouldn’t have run out from the forest like a madman without looking!” 

“I was chased by a-...Fuck, I was chased!” The young man suddenly remembered something and looked towards the forest with panic. “There are...There are wolves!” 

“Well, I hope you are a fast runner then.” The rider smirked and jumped on his horse, never minding his wet clothes. 

“What?! But you can’t just-” 

The horse sped away. 

“-leave me here.” He whispered the ending of his sentence even though there wasn’t anyone who would hear him anymore. 


	2. Chapter 1

Armitage was freezing.

After being left on the road by the reckless rider, he stood there for a few more minutes, trying to come up with a plan. He lost his food in the forest; he didn’t remember exactly where but he dropped it somewhere in the process of running from the horrendous howling he heard in the dark. He didn’t know how he got there, into the woods – he was just minding his own business, walking on a small path when he first heard it and possibly lost his mind since he abandoned the path. He would have never done such an illogical thing, yet here he was. Running and zigzagging between the trees.

He didn’t want to travel without the food; his stomach was growling so loudly that he was sure it could challenge the wolves in the contest of terrifying sounds.

Armitage stepped back into the forest and just when his foot touched the forest’s needles, the howling started again. He groaned and took three petulant steps away from the trees. “Alright,” he said to nobody in particular. “Keep my food you…you stupid forest.” He spat and straightened his jacket.

He just hoped that there was an inn nearby so he could sleep somewhere warm and get his clothes to dry. And also buy something to eat, perhaps a good broth with big pieces of carrot and potatoes and also some bread.

Armitage didn’t know how long he was walking when he saw a faint light in the distance. Could it be an inn of some sort? Or maybe a house where he could spend the night? His clothes were nearly dry at the moment but he was still feeling very cold, his feet were sore and his stomach was grumbling. He prayed to all the gods he knew for it to be an inn. Nobody told him that going on a quest would be so uncomfortable and tiring.

As he got closer to the light, he saw that it was no house or inn; it was just a fire in the forest. He stopped and thought for a moment– it could be bandits. It could be giants who would eat him for dinner.

He decided to risk it.

 

“Hello?”

Armitage was slowly walking among the trees, trying not to be loud, his fingers carefully touching the bark of trees around him. As if he wanted to say that he was sorry for walking around them at this hour, disturbing their sleep. As he got closer, he could see a dark figure sitting by the dancing fire. It was a man, and he seemed to be alone. Not a giant but not the size of an average human either. He was not looking at Armitage; his gaze was focused on the orange flames in front of him. He didn’t seem to have heard him.

That was until a twig snapped under Armitage’s boot and the stranger’s eyes quickly set on him.

“Uhm…Hello,” Armitage tried for the second time. “I saw your fire, so I thought… I mean, not your fire, obviously, since one cannot own a fire but you know what I mean, I just…Can I join you?”

The man scowled at him and sneered, “You have the nerve to come to me? Are you stalking me or something, you worm?”

Armitage blinked at him in confusion; he couldn’t see him clearly because the light from the fire was obscuring his vision. “What? What are you-oh…” He took in the strangers clothes. It was the rider. He hadn’t recognized him at first since he wasn’t wearing the cape anymore. “Never mind, sorry for disturbing you. I’ll gladly go die in the forest.” Armitage turned on his heel and started walking.

“Alright.”

“Maybe I’ll freeze to death!”

“Alright!”

“Maybe I’ll die of starvation!”

“Enjoy!”

There was a silence, and then a single wolf howl and Armitage came running back.

“Did you die?” The stranger looked at him and the baker’s son scowled.

“Shut up.” He sat down on the ground and sighed when he felt the heat of the fire against his chilled body. He took the satchel off his shoulder and spread out his thin blanket so it would dry and he could use it later; there was no point in sitting on it now since it was still dank. When he was done, Armitage pulled his legs closer to his body and hugged them, staring into the fire.

 

Neither of them said a word for another fifteen minutes. They were both looking at the flames, listening to the soft crackling of the burning wood. The peaceful atmosphere was only ruined when Armitage’s stomach decided to speak the language of its people.

“You’re hungry,” said the stranger and Armitage looked at him, tired.

“I lost my food when I was running from the wolves,” he mumbled and sighed with annoyance when he heard another growl.

“You and your wolves,” the stranger shook his head and pulled a satchel that was lying next to him closer. Armitage watched him rummage through it with curiosity. After a while of searching his bag, the rider threw a small package at Armitage, who failed to catch it, the bundle falling into the grass behind him. “Here, it’s bread with chicken. I hope it’s not too fancy for you.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Take it as an apology for my reckless riding habits.”

Armitage only rolled his eyes as he started unwrapping the package. It was indeed a chicken sandwich; a generous slice of bread and a battered chicken breast, there was even a pickle! His mouth started to water immediately, and it took a great afford not to wolf it down all at once when he started eating. It was almost as good as his mother’s cooking. Maybe even better.

 

“Care to tell me what are you doing alone in the woods without any weapon and clad only in…this?”

“I’m on a quest,” Armitage swallowed his bite.

“A quest,” the stranger smirked with amusement. “What kind of quest may I ask? Let me guess, your goat got lost or… was it a sheep? Please, tell me that you’re not looking for your sheep so you could--.”

“What? No!” Armitage frowned, “Why would I… You’re disgusting.”

“Isn’t that what you peasants do?”

Armitage frowned at him and turned his back on him. He didn’t want to speak with him anymore. He didn’t even know this man and…he didn’t like him. Who did he think he was? He was probably rich, yes; Armitage guessed this much by the look of his horse and nice black leather boots, which were the only thing of him visible in the firelight, but that didn’t mean that he could speak to him like this.

Or could he?

Did the rich really have the right to do as they pleased? Just like his mother used to tell him when he was younger?

_“Always be kind to the richer than you, because they will strike you for the smallest things.”_

When the darkness fell and the stars were shining above the trees, the two travellers were lying on the forest ground in silence. Both of them were watching the night sky and leaves above their heads, each of them with different memories playing in their minds. The baker’s son was thinking about his mother and home, for he has never been this far from the place where he was born and he missed his mother dearly. His companion, on the other hand, didn’t miss his family at all. The only thing he was thinking about were the quiet sounds, which were coming from the man lying near him.

Was he crying?

He was a man; he was not supposed to cry. What a weak creature. The prince groaned and turned on his side with the back facing the fire. “Stars, if you want to weep like a stupid wench at least do it silently or I’ll gut you,” he grumbled when the sobs didn’t stop.

The sobs eased a bit after this but didn’t disappear completely; still, it was better than nothing so the prince kept to himself and didn’t try to acknowledge him any further.

Let him cry if he wants to, the prince would never stoop so low.

 

When the morning came, the prince was the first to wake up. His back was protesting with pain from sleeping on the ground in his full attire. He didn’t plan on sleeping in the forest but with no inn or roadhouse nearby, he had no other option. He slowly sat up and combed his unruly hair with his fingers, silently smacking his lips to get rid of the foul taste in his mouth. He should get back on the road and find some place to eat and ask for directions. He didn’t need—

There was a groan.

The prince swiftly grabbed his sword from the ground and jumped on his legs, looking around for the intruder only to realise what was making the soft groans in the first place. He completely forgot about the strange man he met yesterday.

Now he could finally fully look at him in the light of the day. He didn’t notice yesterday that he had fiery hair nor that they were probably the same age. The bread which he gave him was only half eaten, the rest of it wrapped in a cloth and lying on an old woollen blanket. The stranger groaned once again and slowly blinked his eyes open. He looked at the prince sleepily, and when he noticed that there was a sword aimed at him, he nearly fell into the smoking fire ring.

The prince snorted.

“Jumpy, aren’t we?”

The stranger scowled at him and righted his position, carefully pulling the rest of the bread to his chest as if he was afraid that he would be supposed to give it back. “It’s not every day I wake up with a sword in my face.”

“Where are you headed, pumpkin?”

“My name’s Armitage, not a pumpkin, you…you…” Armitage looked the man in front of him over. He was right yesterday when he thought that he was a rich one. He looked like a knight even though he wasn’t wearing full armour. He was wearing only blacks with few crimson details, and Armitage was sure that one of the stranger’s boots cost more than his whole house.

“You what?”

“Nothing, my lord,” he mumbled and looked down. He was taught to show respect to the more worthy than him, and this man had a sword, which was enough reason to swallow the insult and be quiet.

“I thought so. Now, where are you headed? I’m not used to repeating myself, Armitage. Answer me or you’ll be answering my sword.”

Armitage looked at him. “I can’t answer you for I don’t know who’s asking, my lord.”

“I’m Kylo Ren. You may have heard of me.”

“No, I didn’t actually.”

The knight growled at him, “Everyone heard of me!”

“No, I’m sorry.” He shrugged.

“I killed the seven-headed dragon which was living under the Diamond mountain, I rescued the Sleeping Princess and killed the Evil Witch from the Woodlands, I-“

“I really don’t know who you are, Kylo Ren. Listing your good deeds won’t make any difference.” Armitage got up from the ground and started to beat his blanket. “I’m headed to the north.”

“The north?” The knight was still frowning, watching Armitage’s every move. “What business do you have there?”

Armitage sighed heavily and looked at him with a blanket in his arms. “What is it to you?”

“I’m headed north myself.”

“Oh? So we could like...travel together?”

“I don’t think so,” Kylo shook his head and started to pack his things. “You would only slow me down.” Kylo went to his horse, which was standing by the tree and watching him patiently. He patted his nose and the horse snorted.

“I would not!” Armitage fastened the rolled blanket to his satchel and put the strap over his head.

“You would. You don’t have a horse.” Kylo looked at him and shook his head, untying the horse’s reins from the tree. “I don’t know why I’m still talking to you, you’re just a peasant. It’s beneath me to- Ouch!” Kylo turned sharply when something hard hit his head.

“That’s enough!” Armitage was glaring at him, fists balled by his sides. “I’m tired of your constant insults, alright? The fact that you’re rich or a knight or who knows what doesn’t mean that you can talk to me like this! I am a human being just like you, and I deserve some respect!” The baker forgot everything he was taught in a split second. He didn’t know why he was so angry that this horrendous human being didn’t want him as his companion. It might have been because he had a big sword and Armitage didn’t, so it would be only beneficial to have somebody who would protect him.

“What?” Kylo scowled.

“You heard me,” Armitage lifted his chin defiantly. “I will not be bullied by you! You don’t even know me! I can be useful.” Kylo grabbed his sword once more and pulled it out of its scabbard. Armitage paled and took a step back. _Oh no._ This time he clearly overstepped. His big mouth was always a problem and now it was going to get him killed. _Stupid idiot, stupid! Why can’t you shut up when you’re facing an armed man?!_  The knight started walking towards him with a determined expression, “What are you doing?” Armitage whispered. “Are you going to kill me?” He took another step back.

“Stop.”

“Why? So you could stab me?!”

“I said stop!” The knight growled and Armitage stopped walking as he closed his eyes and whimpered. He didn't want to die. He was too young! Well, not so young with the life-span in their time, but still fairly young. His chin, as well as his lower lip, started to wobble. “Please god no, don’t kill me, please.” His voice was trembling with fear as he fell to his knees upon hearing the knight growl again and charge at him.

But the blow never came.

Kylo jumped over the frightened man and charged at the beast that was slowly approaching from the bushes. The animal growled and charged at him too, it tried to bite into the knight’s leg, but Kylo was faster. He took a step to a side and with swift half pirouette decapitated the creature, its head falling to the ground, tongue lolling out of its mouth.  

Kylo grumbled and kicked the dead animal for a good measure. “You can get up now, pumpkin.” He snorted and looked at Armitage. “This is the wolf who’s been trailing after you?”

Armitage peeked from under his arm with which he was shielding his head and swallowed. He looked at the wolf and nodded. “Yes, that him.” He sniffled a little and rubbed angrily at his damp cheeks. The big animal didn’t look so scary now when he saw it in the daylight. It was still big, yes, but at least it was dead. And dead animals couldn’t bite.

“You owe me.”

“What?” Armitage looked at the knight as he walked back to his horse.

“I saved your life, so now you owe me. That’s how it works.”

“Does it?”

“Of course. It’s one of the oldest rules. It also means that now you have to go with me, so don’t look so miserable. It’s me who should be angry, not you.” Kylo frowned, already regretting killing the animal. He didn’t want to take that clueless peasant with him, but now it seemed that he had no other choice. If he would leave him here, there would be no chance that they would meet again, and the life debt would stay unpaid to the end of their lives. And that would mean bad luck for their future reincarnations. Unpaid debts in a past life meant meeting again in the new one. Kylo definitely didn’t want to risk this.

 

And so the baker’s son found himself walking along the knight’s horse.

 

They continued their journey in silence that was only sometimes disturbed by the sound of pebbles crunching under the horse’s hooves and Armitage’s unhappy sounds because his legs were starting to hurt. He wasn’t used to walking long distances and the uncomfortable forest ground hadn’t provided him with enough sleep to feel capable of such a long journey. Especially when he had to keep up with a horse.

He chanced a glimpse at the rider next to him, and frowned. The knight was looking ahead and didn’t pay him any attention. Perhaps it was beneath him to even look at Armitage, let alone talk to him. The young baker has seen few knights in his life, mostly wandering sellswords, but none of them was as striking as this young man. They all were visibly weathered with hard lives and wars, and this man next to him was nothing like them. Not only he was much younger, he held himself differently somehow –there was an aura around him, which screamed _look at me. Look at me and kneel._ His clothes were far more luxurious than those of an ordinary knight. His tunic was adorned with silver leaves and a pattern of greyish flowers, his cloak attached to his shoulders with pins that bore an emblem Armitage didn’t recognize.

“You should look where you’re putting your feet or you’ll trip and break your neck.”

Armitage shook his head and felt his face go red, immediately he lowered his gaze and watched the dirt under his shoes. He knew it was rude to stare but he just couldn’t help it, there was something magnetic drawing his attention to the man. “You’re not a knight,” he mumbled and looked back at Kylo.

“I never said I was.”

It didn’t take long before the trees around them started to thin as they were nearing the edge of the forest. The sun was already high in the sky and Kylo’s stomach was telling them that it was time to eat something. Armitage, who already ate his chicken sandwich from yesterday, snickered when he heard the rumbling sound and looked up towards the rider.

“Something funny?” Kylo scowled at him and moved a bit on the saddle. “I gave you my breakfast yesterday so shut it.”

Armitage frowned back at him, “I didn’t ask you to feed me, your highness,” he said with a mocking tone, “I only wanted-”

“Hello?” They both stopped walking and looked at the source of the quiet voice. It was a little girl. She was standing in the middle of the road, holding a basket full of food and staring at them with big blue curious eyes. “I’m sorry to interrupt you but haven’t you seen a big wolf there?”

“No,” Kylo grumbled and spurred the horse to resume walking.

“Well of course,” Armitage said at the same time as Kylo dismissed the little lassie, and frowned at Kylo for doing so. “You don’t have to be afraid, darling,” he crouched in front of her and rearranged the bow on one of her pigtails.

“I don’t? But if you’ve seen him how can I-“

“The wolf is dead,” Kylo looked at the pair of them and jumped down from the horse, the little girl gaped.

“You killed him?” She blinked and turned red when Kylo nodded – she was clearly smitten. “Well thank you, Ser Knight.”

“I’m not a-“ Kylo was interrupted by Armitage’s snort. “You’re welcome, my lady.” He bowed a little to the girl.

She giggled and beamed at him, “I’ll say to my grandma that a knight saved me!”

When the girl hopped past them and into the forest, Armitage shook his head in disbelief. “Who the hell sends their kid into the Woods? Especially when there are wolves in them, you only killed one. There are others. They’ll eat her.”

“She’s old enough to go by herself, and better her than us.” Kylo shrugged and started walking, “How old are you, anyway? Do you have kids of your own? Pretty little wife to warm your bed?”

“No,” Armitage looked at Kylo. “I live with my mother, we have a bakery. She can bake the best raspberry pies in the whole kingdom.” He puffed his chest proudly and raised his chin.

Kylo looked at him with amusement. This man was really one of a kind. He didn’t know what was funnier, the way he held himself even though he was just a pleb or the fact that he was proud of living with his mother. The latter was probably sadder than funnier. “Uhuh,” Kylo nodded and shook his head a little, “I’m sure she does.”

Armitage looked at him sharply, detecting the mocking undertow. “Excuse me; do you think I’m a liar?”

“Of course not, I just doubt that you travelled the whole kingdom of yours to try all the pies so you could say that your dearest mother makes the best ones.”

“I don’t have to travel the whole kingdom to know that,” Armitage sneered. “The king himself tasted them and said so!” It wasn’t a lie per se, Armitage’s mother told him so when he was a little boy, the king loved her pies. She also told him that stars shone only for him so he wouldn’t be afraid at night, and that proved not to be true…

“I never cared much for pies.” Kylo hopped back on his horse and galloped on. Armitage hated him.


	3. Chapter 2

The inn they entered looked almost like the one in Armitage’s village. Few wooden tables by the walls, wooden counter in the back with a kitchen behind it, and one or two cats trying to steal something from the plates of its customers.

As soon as the door closed behind them, all conversation in the room stopped and every head turned to them. Even the cat meowed in confusion upon seeing the strange pair.

The innkeeper didn’t hesitate and went to serve them, interrupting their ongoing staring contest. Armitage was winning.

“Hello, lads! What can get you?” He smiled at them from under his grandiose moustache. Armitage’s eyes immediately fell to the innkeeper’s bulking stomach before he remembered himself and gave the man a curt nod.

“I’ll…A soup, please? With some bread and…only with some bread. Yes. Thank you.” Oh, how he missed the fine taste of bread freshly pulled out of the oven. Kylo looked at him with one eyebrow slightly raised and ordered a whole chicken and beer for both of them. The landlord nodded and went to tend to it. “A whole chicken?” Armitage asked incredulously and shook his head. Surely, the people here didn’t have so many animals to spare. It was only a little inn and not some horseway pub.

“I’m hungry,” Kylo shrugged and looked around the inn.

 _I’m hungry_ , Armitage mimicked him with disdain and smiled innocently when Kylo looked back at him, rolling his eyes and scowling.

 

“So…Now that we are travelling together,“ Kylo started when they got their beverages, “will you finally tell me, pumpkin, what is your business in the north of this kingdom?”

“Do you have a problem with calling me by my name?” Armitage frowned at him.

“No, I just think it’s stupid, so I don’t want to say it.”

“You’re stupid.”

“Watch – your – tongue,” Kylo growled.The gesture would be much more frightening if he hadn’t the beer foam above his upper lip like some silly moustache.

“I won’t tell you where I’m headed until you treat me with some respect.” That made Kylo laugh. “What are you laughing at?” Armitage frowned. What did he say? Did he use the wrong tense or… suddenly very self-conscious, he pursed his lips and decided that the wall on the other side of the room was much more interesting than he previously thought.

“You think you’re worth my respect? Are you seriously this stupid? I am the son of-“

“Here are your meals, lads.” The innkeeper came with their food and set it down on the table. “I hope it’s to your tastes.”

Kylo nodded at him and started eating, fully aware that the fat man just had just saved his skin, nobody could know that he was a prince.

 

The food had almost vanished from their plates when the innkeeper came again to ask if they wanted something more to eat or drink. Armitage just shook his head – he could eat some more but his money purse wasn’t a lucky dip. Kylo, on the other hand, was absolutely full. “How far is it to the northern border?” The latter asked as he gave their host his money. “More precisely, how far is it to the Howling Tower?”

The innkeeper froze and looked at Kylo as if he had grown a second head. “You want to go to the Howling Tower? Why would you-“ He swallowed as the realisation hit him. “You’re Kylo Ren.”

Armitage blinked. How could this man possibly know who Kylo was? That was absurd! Kylo looked at Armitage with a knowing smirk, “I am indeed.”

“Oh, my lord!” The innkeeper pushed Kylo’s money back into his hands and shook his head. “You don’t need to pay, my lord. It’s on the house! Please just save our princess, it is such a tragedy!”

“Don’t worry, I always save them. It’s what I do.”

 

When they got back on the trail, Armitage was unusually silent. And even angrier than before.

Of course he had to meet the only other person who was crazy enough to go on the same quest as him! Of course he had to meet some idiot who made it his hobby to save princesses and to slay dragons and all the other rabbles. He had no chance against him. He was no killer. And he could not possibly tell Kylo the truth if he wanted to see the other day.

And so Armitage decided that he will never tell Kylo Ren the truth about where he was going.

The innkeeper told them that it was a one week journey if they were to go on foot. The innkeeper also demanded that Armitage paid him for his meal because he wasn’t the mighty Kylo Ren but only a nuisance. The innkeeper was an asshole.

 

„If you’re going to be silent for the whole week, please tell me now,“ Kylo pulled Armitage out of his train of thoughts. “Are you still angry that you had to actually pay for your food?”

“No.”

“I see,” Kylo was looking at him from the saddle, “You know what they say about gingers?” He frowned when Armitage didn’t say anything more; he was getting bored. It was a little bit strange, actually. He was used to travelling alone, spending his days and nights in silence. Only sometimes complaining to Swallow about the weather. But now, when he had company, and company that was so easy to rile up, he just couldn’t help himself.

“No.” Armitage didn’t look at him. He knew exactly what people were saying about gingers, he just didn’t want to talk to that cocky imbecile.

“They say that you become vampires when you die. So you’re probably safe with me, I can’t kill you and risk that you will go after my blood.” Kylo looked at Armitage for a reaction; he didn’t get any. Scowling, he continued, “Is your mother a redhead too? How hard is it to live without a soul? Is it true that you’re better at sex than the others?”

“Would you shut up?!” Armitage stopped walking and seethed.

Kylo smirked again, “I see that it’s true that redheads are quick-tempered heathens.”

Armitage groaned and started walking with much more speed, mumbling something under his breath. The truth was that Armitage heard it all since he was a little boy. The kids didn’t want to play with him because they were afraid he would hex them, and as he got older… well. Everyone found ginger maidens attractive but nobody fancied ginger men.

“Ah come on,” Kylo spurred the horse so he would catch up with him. “It was only a jest. You don’t have to get all defensive. I don’t mind that you’re a virgin, Pumpkin. At least I can offer you as a sacrifice if we encounter a dragon or a witch on our way.”

“You know what?” Armitage looked at him, “I don’t want to travel with you anymore. You’re a bigger idiot than I thought you would be. I really tried, you know? I tried to…to show you some respect since you’re, you’re…this. Gods! I don’t even know who you are!” He rubbed his face with both hands, trying to calm himself. “You’re Kylo Ren, yes, I know! But what does that even mean?! I don’t give a fuck if you’re some superstar among the everyday folks in all the other kingdoms, okay? You are mean and churlish and insolent and and….ugh!” Armitage kicked a stone, which was lying on the road. “Just leave me alone,” he mumbled and went away from the road to the meadow.

“I probably deserved this one,” Kylo breathed out when he got out of his shock. Nobody had ever talked to him like this. Everyone knew better than to try to insult him, let alone scream at him. “Hey, carrot head, stop!” He called after him, but Armitage didn’t stop, he didn’t even turn around. Maybe he didn’t hear him. “I’m not joking! You will get killed!”

Armitage did hear him. He just didn’t care.

 

Maybe he should have cared. Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to go alone. There was no chance that he would get there sooner than Kylo - Kylo had a horse and Armitage didn’t. And now Armitage was at a crossroads and didn’t know where to go.

Just great.

He squinted at the guidepost as he tried to make sense of it.

Squinting didn’t help.

And so he decided to wait. He just hoped that somebody would go around eventually so he could ask them.

“Hey,” Something nudged Armitage’s shoulder, and he blinked slowly. He didn’t realise he fell asleep, his back was hurting like hell from being leaned against the wooden post. “Are you awake now?” His first instinct was to look up but he saw no one, “I’m over here,” the voice said from his right and Armitage looked its way.

“Holy cow!” he yelped and smashed his head into the wood, “Ouch!”

The tiny man, who had been hovering in the air, giggled and made his way down to the ground, leaning against Armitage’s knee. “You okay, buddy?”

Our baker could only stare. He knew they existed, but he had never seen a real-life fairy in his life. It was bigger than he thought they should be, about the size of his palm, clothed in something that looked like a leather jacket, white shirt and tiny black leggings with small brown pointy shoes. “What are you?” Armitage breathed out and blinked several times to clear his head.

“I’m a fairy, obviously,” it rolled its eyes. “Name’s Poe.”

“Poe.”

“Yes, Armitage,” it, Poe, grinned.

“How do you know my name?” Armitage blanched and watched as Poe jumped up on his knee and started walking up his leg, his stomach and chest as Armitage lay lower and lower on the ground, only stopping himself from lying down completely when he leaned on his elbows and nearly had to cross his eyes to be able to look at the fairy.

“I know many things.”

“You do?”

“Yes,” he smiled. “I know which way to go, for instance.”

“You do?” Armitage's voice got an octave higher.

“Yes.”

“What else do you know?”

“Well, that depends on what you would want to know. I have my rules, you see, I can’t just tell you everything. That would be highly against the rules.”

“The rules?”

“Yes, the rules.”

“What rules?”

“The rules of the universe, silly.” Poe laughed a little and shook his head. “So, what do you want to know? Is there something, anything that is dragging you down?” He raised his eyebrows as if he knew exactly what was on his heart.

Armitage shook his head. Of course there were things he wanted to know. Things that were bothering him his whole life. The absence of his father, the uncertainty about his future, the fact that he felt as if he had never truly been validated, never destined to find somebody who would love him. But how could he trust some fairy he’s only just met?

“He’s closer than you think,” Poe smiled at him and winked when the sound of hooves rang from the distance.

Armitage looked to the source of the sound, “But who?” Armitage looked back at his chest only to see that Poe was gone. “Huh,” he straightened his back and got up from the ground just when Kylo stopped in front of him, frowning at him from his horse.

 

“You’re alive.”

Armitage scowled back at him, “Well, of course, I’m alive, what did you expect?”

“Honestly? That you’ll get eaten by some old hag because you’re that stupid.” Kylo jumped down from the horse, towering over him.

“Are you kidding me?!”

“No, I’m not kidding you, Armitage, I’m really not!”

“Well, you know what? Fuck you!” Armitage shoved him and jumped on his horse in one swift motion, urging the black mare to speed off.

And speed off she did.

Leaving Kylo standing there like a fool on the crossroads.

“Well, that escalated quickly,” said a voice next to Kylo’s head.

Kylo whirled around.

“Hello,” smiled Poe and waved his hand innocently. “I’m Poe and I’m- HEY!” He screeched when Kylo grabbed him in the middle and squeezed him with his clenched fist. “Easy buddy, easy! You’re going to crush me!”

“And who says that’s not exactly what I want to do, sprite?” Kylo growled.

“Alright, buddy, listen. I mean no harm, alright? I was just helping Armitage-“

“You were what?” He squeezed harder.

“I didn’t want him to get a heatstroke!”

“It’s spring, it’s afternoon and it’s not even that sunny! Shut your mouth and bring me my horse.”

“I’m not your fairy godmother, you oaf!”

Kylo growled and hurled him as far as he could, stomping away the way Armitage fled. Freaking fairies and their stupid magic. It had to be that fairy’s doing, there was no other way Swallow would listen to that redheaded lunatic.

The wayward prince found Armitage when the sun was setting down. It wasn’t difficult to miss him. He was lying in the ditch with Swallow standing over him looking like she was laughing.

“What happened here, huh? Did she finally kill you? Because if not, that’s exactly what I’m going to do, you- oh.” Kylo looked down into the ditch and saw that the redhead was unconscious. “Good girl,” he patted his horse on her neck and smiled. “Should I leave him here?” He looked at her and she snorted, nodding her head. “I probably should, you’re right,” he mused, “but I don’t think he deserves to die in a ditch.” Kylo bent down and pulled Armitage by his hands out and up on the road.

 

Kylo wasn’t used to walking on foot while travelling, but it seemed that with the ginger around it’s something that he should get used to. He didn’t want to make Swallow’s life harder, so he decided to walk and leave Armitage to lie over her like a sack of potatoes. He sighed and kicked a stone on the road; this was ridiculous. He was a prince and not some… stupid sidekick. If someone should be a sidekick, it was Armitage. He was the peasant! The stories were always about the prince. How his life became this, he really didn’t know.

That was a lie.

He did know.

And he knew it very well.

It had been two years since he fled from his life, his family and most importantly – his mother. It broke her heart, but what choice did he have? He couldn’t live like this, he couldn’t bear the weight of what he had done, even though she assured him that it wasn’t his fault.

He knew that real life was different. Everyone who was close to the royal family knew the truth. And they wouldn’t forget it just because he was their prince, or because he had been manipulated, bewitched even.

Kylo didn’t want to marry a princess and reign as he was destined to. No. He wanted to live. He wanted his father to be proud of him. He wanted to clear his name, his very soul, and to do so, he couldn’t stay where everybody wanted him.

He had to be where he was needed the most, and that meant helping people. He loved saving princesses and maidens in despair, he loved killing vicious beasts and dragons; but nothing he did could fill him with the satisfaction of what he wanted the most – to kill the man who was to blame for everything.

 

Armitage woke up to the sound of crackling wood.

He squinted a little into the flames next to him and sighed, pulling the blanket closer to his body. His side was hurting and he felt as if he was run over by a wheel cart.

“You’re awake.”

Armitage looked up from where he was lying and saw Kylo sitting next to him. “You found me.”

“That I did. You’re lucky you’re alive. Could have hit your head. What were you thinking, huh? Stealing my horse like this. She’s a wild piece of work, she could have killed you.” Kylo got up and kneeled next to him, waving his fingers in front of Armitage’s eyes. “How many fingers do you see?”

“Three,” Armitage mumbled and closed his eyes again. “I’m sorry, I just… You’re insufferable.”

“Am I?” Kylo actually laughed a little.

“Yes.”

“Well, that makes two of us,” he sighed and stretched his arms over his head. “You’re not the first to think that, you know? My mother used to tell me so many times.”

Armitage blinked his eyes open and looked at his companion. “Your mother?” Was Kylo really willing to share something about his life with him? He was in shock. Or he was only hallucinating from the head injury?

“Yeah. She was… She didn’t like what I was doing or saying, come to think of it, she probably didn’t like me at all,” Kylo smiled a little as he kept staring at the flames. “I probably deserved it. Well, now I deserve it for sure,” he shook his head and sighed. “Your mother likes you?”

Armitage nodded, then realised that Kylo couldn’t see him, “Yes. Yes, she loves me. Of course, she does. I’m her only son.” Kylo scoffed. “What?”

“I’m an only child too and still I don’t think she loves me.”

“I’m sure she does. Even though you’re such an arse,” Armitage got up and sat next to Kylo, wincing when his side protested against the movement. “Why do you think she doesn’t love you?”

“I killed my father.”

“Well, that’s probably a good reason, yeah.”

Kylo laughed and looked at Armitage. “You’re unbelievable,” he shook his head in amazement. Of all the reactions there were, this was not one that Kylo thought he would get.

“Good,” Armitage nodded.

“Good?”

“Yes, good,” he smiled and turned away from Kylo. The prince huffed a little and shook his head.

“Good.”


	4. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big thank you to [Gefionne](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gefionne/pseuds/Gefionne) for betaing this chapter <3

_Kylo was walking through the halls of the castle, which had been his home since he was born. The heels of his boots clattering against the cobblestones as he walked faster and faster from the throne room towards the nearby courtyard. He needed air. He needed air or he was going to suffocate, he was sure of it._

_He burst through the heavy wooden doors and nearly fell over, his legs giving out on him. He made it to the stone bench and sat down, crumbling under the reality of what he had seen._

_“My lord?” There was a quiet and hesitant voice coming from somewhere behind him. Kylo knew the voice—it was one of their servants—but he couldn’t care less to acknowledge him. “My lord, your mother wants to-”_

_“Leave,” Kylo growled, his head hurting, tears streaming down his face._

_“But, my lord-”_

_“I said leave!”_

 

Kylo jolted awake, gasping for air and with tears on his cheeks. He was shaking.

“Only a dream,” he breathed when he took in his surroundings. “Only a dream.” He rubbed his face and sat up.

The fire was almost dead already and it wasn’t even close to the break of day. Kylo looked at Armitage, who was sleeping nearby, huddled under his blanket and snoring quietly, making soft mewling sounds with each breath. At least one of them didn’t have problems sleeping.

Suddenly, something yowled in the forest and Kylo shuffled closer to the fire. A wood ghost. Not that Kylo was afraid of goblins and ghosts, but Armitage might be. With a nudge of a wooden stick, Kylo poked the fire and sighed when the wood cracked and started burning again.

Good.

The shriek sounded again and Armitage still didn’t move an inch.

“Armitage?”

And again.

“Carrot head? Are you sleeping?”

And again.

Kylo poked him with the stick he had been using to renew the fire just moments ago, but then quickly threw it away to be rid of the corpus delicti. Armitage stirred and rolled over, blinking into the dark in confusion.

“Oh, you’re not sleeping?” Kylo asked and looked at him, bewildered and trying to act as if nothing happened, while Armitage told him that it was probably his injured side what woke him up.

And then, the sound came again.

This time Armitage visibly tensed and looked at Kylo, who looked at him with a schooled expression.

“Was that a…?”

The prince nodded. “A wood ghost. Probably, yes.”

“A wood ghost? We call these creatures heykhals.”

“Hey-what?”

“Because of the sound he makes, like…it’s like…never mind,” Armitage sighed. “It’s not going to hurt us if we stay in this cave, right?”

“Nah.” Kylo shook his head, even though he didn’t know a bit about this creature’s behaviour.

“All right.” Armitage lay back down and closed his eyes.

“What are you doing?”

“Sleeping, duh.”

Kylo rolled his eyes and frowned. How could he sleep when there was some crazy creature making horrendous noises? His mother had often told him that the more stupid a person is, the happier is his life, but this was a completely new level!

“You can’t just sleep! If I can’t sleep, you won’t sleep, either!”

Did he really say it aloud?

Evidently, he had because Armitage opened his eyes and looked at him with one raised eyebrow. “What?”

“Nothing.” Kylo made a face and wanted to go back to poking the fire, only to find out that he had thrown the stick away. “Crap.” He got up from his sitting place and went to retrieve his stick.

“Where are you going? What—oh…” Armitage blinked. “Is this...did you wake me up with that and then threw it away?”

“No, I’m not stupid.” Kylo rolled his eyes and sat back down. 

 

They settled into silence, neither of them knowing what to do since the sleep wasn’t an option. Armitage kept looking at the knight-who-was-not-really-a-knight, thinking about what he heard in that inn they visited earlier.

“That man in the inn,” Armitage said.  “He knew you.”

Kylo looked at him and nodded. “I’ve already told you, I’m very well-known.”

Armitage nodded, thinking. “So…why are you doing all this? Why do you save these princesses when you don’t marry them afterwards? Isn’t it, like, a waste or something? What if…what if there is some prince who…who wants to save one of them too and can’t because you already did it, and now he will never find his true love because you took the possibility from him?“

Kylo frowned a little. “Why do you care about some stupid princes, huh? It’s their own fault they weren’t fast enough or chickened out of the quest when the first complication appeared.”

“I don’t.” Armitage rolled from his side back to his back. “I just don’t understand why you are doing it.”

“To find me a wife. Why else I would be doing it?” Kylo frowned even more. “It’s not my fault that all of them are stupid geese.”

Armitage smiled a little. Somehow, he couldn’t believe that all of them would be stupid. Kylo was just fussy brat; that was the only reason he hadn’t married any of them. Princesses were known to be the most beautiful creatures in the world, especially those hidden in towers or guarded by dragons. It was because when you overcame all the obstacles, you got your reward. Who would want to risk his life for some ugly wench? No one. And so it was only logical that they were the prettiest.

“Really?” Armitage said, goading him. “Do tell.” He was genuinely curious what Kylo thought made one a stupid goose.

“I stumbled across my first one by chance,” Kylo said. “I was riding through a forest when I heard weeping, so I got curious and wanted to know what was happening. The next thing I know, I’m going down from my horse and looking at a corpse in a glass coffin. There were seven little men around it and so many animals that it was on the border of being creepy. Especially the wild bog. What if the little ones had decided to kill me? So…the little men told me that this young girl was, in fact, a princess, that her stepmother was jealous of her because she had a complex of not being fifteen anymore and so she decided that she wants her dead. She was white as paper—a little bit like you, come to think of it.”

“Did you kiss her?”

“Of course I did. As I said, these dwarves were crying and it was a horrendous sight, and I get really uncomfortable when people cry so I decided that it was probably for the best I kissed her.”

Armitage made a disgusted noise. “You kissed a corpse?”

“She wasn’t technically a corpse,” Kylo huffed. “I kissed her and she came to life and as she got up she hit me into my head with her head and the impact was so hard that she fell unconscious.”

“Oh no.”

“Oh, yes.” Kylo shrugged. “So I did the only logical thing: I got on my horse and fled. She was too young for me anyway. And I saved her; she’s probably still living with these old lunatics in the woods.”

“How honourable of you.” Armitage rolled his eyes a little but listened to what more Kylo had to say.

“She was a gold-digger anyway. Why else would she live with seven old, unattractive men in the woods? She was clearly after the diamonds they dig in the quarry.” After that Armitage only snorted. “My second one was locked in a tower; she had this very long hair and the most beautiful singing voice I’ve ever heard.”

“Wasn’t that Rapunzel?” Armitage side-eyed him and Kylo nodded, obviously surprised that Armitage knew her name. “I heard about her. So, it was you who left her in the tower? She had an abusive stepmother, did you know that? Well, not stepmother; she actually kidnapped her from her parents and took her for her own. So…”

“How do you know all this?”

Armitage shrugged. “I live in a small village near the borders. People tend to stop there to rest, so they talk a lot, especially when they’re buying something from you. She hanged herself on her hair.”

“What?” Kylo looked at him, perplexed.

“Aye, she did. Because of you, I’d say. Since you left her there. Poor girl.”

“I didn’t know that.” Kylo blinked. Did she really kill herself because of him?

“Why should you? She was just a stupid goose, after all.”

Kylo didn’t miss the venom in Armitage’s voice and breathed heavily through his nose. “Do you want me to continue?” Armitage just shrugged and so Kylo continued talking. “Yes, so...my third one was—all right, you know what? Let’s not talk only about me.”

Kylo sighed when he saw how uncomfortable the conversation had turned. He loved boasting about his deeds and adventures and good looks but this was getting somewhat awkward. He didn’t want to feel bad about himself in case he found out that some other princesses that he had left ended miserably. Although it made him feel good that they were so devastated after he didn’t want them. “Tell me about yourself.”

“Why would I?”

“Because I said so and I’m higher on the social ladder.”

Armitage rolled his eyes. “Fine. What do you want to know, ladder man?”

“Where you come from, for instance. If we are to travel together, we should at least know something about each other.”

Armitage looked at him and scowled. Kylo wanted him to open up but didn’t tell him anything in return. Well, yes, he had told him that he killed his father but that didn’t mean anything. Many people killed many fathers and brothers and sons; why should it matter? At least Armitage didn’t have anything he should be ashamed of. He led a decent life, and he was a good person. Good people always ended well, didn’t they? So, why should he be ashamed?

“I come from the neighbouring kingdom, the kingdom of Arkanis. I…I live in a village near the borders, as I’ve already told you; it’s a really small village. We have about ten houses there and an inn, a little blacksmith’s workshop, and…and a herb doctor, yes. Although he lives closer to the woods than us because, well, he is a little bit crazy in the head. And then there’s our bakery, of course.”

Kylo wanted to tell him that he didn’t really care about his little village, but his eyes were already starting to drop as he listened to Armitage’s lilted voice.

“Arkanis is very beautiful, at least from what I heard of other lands. I’ve never travelled further than the nearest town, and that was only when there was a fair, but… We have a sea and…and my mother says that mermaids used to live there, but the king banished them. She used to tell me stories about them; her grandmother met one, actually. They were the most beautiful creatures in the whole world, she said. But also the deadliest. Have you ever seen a mermaid?” Armitage looked at Kylo and sighed; Kylo was sleeping. “I guess not.” And so, Armitage rolled onto his other side and closed his eyes, too.

 

When the morning came, they ate some biscuits that they had gotten from the innkeeper, and then continued on their journey. Kylo was still riding his stupid horse, as Armitage referred to her, and he was walking beside them. They got out of the wood quite fast, since they didn’t meet anyone or anything that would slow them down.

“What the hell is this?” Armitage suddenly stopped and stared at the field next to them. Kylo stopped, too, and looked the way his companion was currently staring.

“Huh.” Kylo cocked his head to one side. There, on the field, was a giant red beet. There was an old man who was holding it in a strong hug, an old woman who held the man, a little girl who was holding the woman by her waist, a dog standing on his back legs holding the little girl’s waist, and a cat holding the dog’s tale.

“What was in those biscuits?” Armitage blinked as he watched the group in the field pulling, pulling, and huffing with despair.

“Nothing,” Kylo said. “I see it, too.” He shook his head. “We’d better go or they’ll want us to participate.”

“You’re right.” Armitage nodded. “I hate beets.”

“I always said that peasants were crazy, no offence.”

Armitage kindly showed him a finger.

“Hey! Young men!” They both turned around; the old man was waving his arms above his head to catch their attention. “Would you help us pull it out?”

“Bloody hell, they saw us!” Armitage yelped and looked back at Kylo with pure horror in his eyes. The old man wasn’t hesitating; he grabbed his pitchfork from the ground and started running after them because he realised that these two were not going to help them willingly. As Kylo saw this, he grabbed Armitage by his hand and pulled him up onto the saddle.

“Hold tight!” he instructed, and Armitage nodded as the horse darted out of the reach of murder by an old man’s pitchfork.

 

“Now you see why I think you people are crazy!“ Kylo stopped his mare when they lost sight of the giant beet field and its crazy inhabitants. “You don’t have to hold me so tight anymore, we’re standing.” He looked over his shoulder and bumped his nose into Armitage’s head by accident; he hadn’t thought that he was so close.

Armitage looked up upon the impact and blinked into Kylo’s eyes. Their noses were almost touching now. He was hiding his head from the wind in Kylo’s shoulder and holding him like his life depended on it, because, honestly, it did. He was sure that they would get arrested if someone saw them riding this fast.

“Right,” Armitage whispered. Kylo had soft golden streaks in his irises; he hadn’t noticed it before. “I’m…yes.” He was feeling hot all over; he knew his face had to be getting red, but he didn’t know why. This was just Kylo, the reckless idiot who was the reason he’d lost his mother’s food, and who was…somehow very handsome from this close.

“So?” Kylo raised his eyebrows and smirked a little when Armitage kept holding onto him. That was all it took for Armitage to loosen his grip. The poor baker, in more than one sense of the word, let go of Kylo with such ferocity that he fell down from the horse.

“I’m all right!” Armitage mewled from the ground. He jumped up, leaning against the horse’s side. “I’m all right.” He blew his fringe out of his eyes, smiling innocently.

“Are you sure you didn’t hit your head?” Kylo looked at him with amusement.

“Yeah, yeah.” Armitage nodded, and took two steps away when Swallow looked at him with venom; she didn’t like that he was touching her. “I guess I’d rather walk.”

“I’m not letting you walk; you’re too slow.” Kylo shook his head. “Come on up.” He offered him his hand and Armitage blanched.

He was so doomed.


	5. Chapter 4

“And that’s how I killed the seven-headed dragon!” Kylo held his head high with pride and Armitage smirked behind him. They travelled together on Kylo’s horse for the majority of the day. The weather was kind to them as well as the road they travelled. There were no other travellers or, gods forbid, bandits that would like their money or food. The only negative thing was that riding on a horse could be tiring, especially when one wasn’t used to it. Armitage was trying to tell himself that it was better this way because it was faster than trailing behind the lordling. He certainly didn’t want to admit that he was happy to be riding because he was enjoying being this close to someone.

“Mmhm,” Armitage hummed and nuzzled closer to Kylo’s neck. And when did it even come to this? He wasn’t sure what was real anymore. This was supposed to be an easy journey to an enchanted castle not a...whatever this was. He was supposed to get there on his own because he wasn’t useless, but now he wasn’t so sure. Certainly riding with somebody he barely knew didn’t mean that he was useless. It meant that he was clever. Clever enough to spare his legs from hurting.

“What are you doing there? Are you wiping your dirty face into my clothes?” Kylo’s eyebrows rose when he felt Armitage rubbing against him.

Armitage froze. “No?” He leaned back and cleared his throat. “No, no, I wasn’t. Sorry.”

Kylo rolled his eyes even though Armitage couldn’t see him – or maybe it was exactly why he did it, because he was sure the ginger man would have some clever retort. “There’s a village near us, you see?” He pointed with his chin. Armitage nodded and Kylo spurred Swallow so she would go faster. “I think we can spend the night there, in an inn or… or somewhere. I don’t think I could sleep another day on the ground.” Oh, how Kylo missed his bedchamber with his soft soft bed and pillows filled with the fluffiest feathers. Not that he would admit it to anyone.

They could see that something wasn’t right as soon as they passed the village’s signpost. There were no people outside their homes tending to their households or children running around with bare feet and songs on their lips. There were no dogs to bark at them, and no cats lazily blinking from the windows.

“I don’t like this, Kylo,” Armitage mumbled as he looked around them, Swallow trod slowly and carefully. Pebbles were churning under her hooves with every step, the sound echoing in the uncomfortable silence.

Kylo nodded and dismounted, petting Swallow’s neck when she snorted nervously. “It’s okay, girl, just wait here.”

“Where are you going?” Armitage frowned, panic rising in his stomach.

“To look around.”

“But-”

“Armitage,” Kylo sighed and took Armitage’s hand into his own, squeezing it. Something in the way the ginger man was looking at him made Kylo stop and reconsider. Maybe Armitage was right, maybe there was something terribly wrong with this place. On the other hand, it could be just an empty village. “Look, this is fine. I will only look around and see if anything is amiss. It could help me- I mean, it could help us. With our journey. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

Armitage looked at their joined hands and then back at Kylo, frowning a little. “Yes, I understand what you’re saying, I’m not an idiot,” he scoffed and snatched his hands back. He wasn’t stupid, but he actually didn’t understand how this place corresponded to their journey. They were meant to travel north, not to dwell in some weird places, which were probably full of ghosts.   

Kylo made few steps away from his horse and Armitage, and hummed. He wasn’t a thief but these buildings looked abandoned enough for him to salvage something. He decided to try the house which was the nearest and opened the door with his boot, not wanting to touch anything in case the village had been cursed.

“Hello? Is anybody home?” He tried to ask even though he was sure that the house was empty. The whole energy of the building seemed shifted and absolutely wrong. The furniture in the house had been thrown across the room, covered in dust and dirt. Kylo frowned. “What the hell happened here?”

Armitage lifted his head when he heard steps and sighed in relief when he saw that it was only Kylo. “So? What did you find?”

“Nothing. Somebody must have already been there … they took everything that had some value.”

Armitage nodded. “Yes, that’s what happens.”

“What happens?”

“Yes. Sellswords, obviously. They usually ransack the whole village if they’re paid for it. They take all the money and pricey things and…”

Kylo nodded, humming. He knew where Armitage was going with this. He knew what bandits and sellswords or soldiers did. It was nothing nice and to be honest, he didn’t really want to think about it if he didn’t have to.

They reached another village not long after, it looked normal and lively, but neither of them had the courage to ask its inhabitants if they knew what happened in the previous one. Armitage was afraid it would be something else than just vicious people, and he didn’t want to know that if his fears were justified. They asked, however, if there were some beds to spare so they could spend the rest of their day there. The villagers told them that there weren’t any free places but that there was a haunted mill nearby and they could sleep there if they wished so.

Kylo was ecstatic, Armitage wasn’t so happy.

“I’m not really sure if this is a good idea, Kylo,” Armitage grumbled when they were on their way again. “If it’s haunted I don’t want to-“

“Stop being such a craven, pumpkin. The worst thing that can happen is that there is going to be some ghost or something.”

“A ghost?!” Armitage looked at him in disbelief. “I thought that mills were usually haunted by demons and their sort.”

“Yeah, that too…” Kylo hummed and squinted into the afternoon sun.

“What?!”

“Seven hells, stop it, alright? For all we know these people could have made fun of us, and the mill will be completely empty. Stop whining.”

Armitage scowled at Kylo and folded his arms. “I’m not whining,” he whined and kicked a rock.

 

The road to the mill took them only a few minutes before they reached what was supposed to be their bed and (hopefully) breakfast. The path rounded, and they could finally see a nice looking pond, one where they could easily wash after they found a place to sleep, or where they could try to catch something for dinner. The mill next to it looked old but not uninviting. It was made of two buildings: a mill and one long residential building. It reminded Hux of his own home with its straw roof and white walls.

Only his home wasn’t haunted.

“What’s up with the heart eyes?” Kylo looked at him with mockery. “I thought that you were scared. Oh please, don’t tell me that you got all excited because there could be some sheep you want to snuggle with.”

“Shut up,” Armitage mumbled and started walking faster. Just when he was starting to think that Kylo wasn’t such an idiot the spoiled brat proved him wrong.

 

The closer to the mill they got, Armitage noticed that the mill didn’t look haunted at all. There was even smoke coming out of the chimney. Which meant that it was inhabited and that they were lied to. Or maybe it was too cold for the demons. “Stop it, Armitage, there are no demons in there,” he grumbled to himself and groaned inwardly at his own stupidity.

The mill looked even more inviting from up close.

Kylo left Swallow by the wooden fence and patted her side. “You want to look inside or should I do it?”

Armitage looked at him with a raised eyebrow, “I think that you’ve done enough house searching today.”

“Famous last words,” Kylo murmured when Armitage walked out of his hearing range.

Armitage cleared his throat and knocked on the door. His mother taught him that he should always knock when he wanted to enter somebody’s house, and he didn’t want to put a shame on her name just because he was a little bit scared. Plus, if there indeed were some ghosts inside, who was he to say that he could behave impolitely towards them?

Nobody answered him and so he decided to enter.

Armitage took a tentative step inside and looked around. There was a wooden table with four chairs and various wooden plates and cups on it. There was a tiled stove, much like in his own house, albeit smaller and without fur, blankets and pillows. “Well, it doesn’t look like there’s anyone at home,” he noted. But if nobody was home how come that there was smoke coming from the chimney?

Armitage hummed with curiosity and looked around for some cloth so he could open the stove door and look inside. He grabbed the first thing he found and carefully touched the handle.

“Can you bake buchteln?”

Armitage let out a high-pitched scream and turned around, pressing his back against the stove. There, right in front of him, stood a demon. A very hairy demon. It didn’t have any clothes, even though Armitage knew (from his mother’s stories) that they usually dressed in human’s clothes, so this one must have been too low on the Hell’s hierarchy level or just a nudist. Its face was dirty; it was hard to say if it was from coal or from not washing.

“Seven hells, you scream like a girl. I hope I didn’t frighten you! I didn’t want to!” It started babbling, getting closer and closer to him. Armitage took another step back and found out that he couldn’t take any more. He was sure he was going to die.

Before Armitage could make any more noise, the door to the house opened with such a force that it slammed against the wall, its hinges wailing in pain. And there stood Kylo, sword in his hands, the want to kill practically singing in his eyes. “Step back, you demon scum,” he spat.

The demon jumped two metres back from the ferocious knight and held his hands up in defence. “I mean no harm! Please, don’t hurt me!”

“Stop lying, you ugly meat sack,” Kylo growled and took a step forward.

“I’m not, I’m not! I just wanted to know if this sneak thief knows how to bake! Lest I take him to Hell for his…his…his thievery!” The demon stuttered and stomped with his hoofed foot; his other foot seemed normal.

“I’m not a thief!” Armitage frowned.

“Well, if you’re not a thief then what you were doing here, huh? With your pretty face and ginger hair, huh?” The creature put its hands on its hips and lifted his chin. “We had the likes of you here before, you know?”

“We?” Kylo frowned.

“Yes, we! Stop waving this stick of yours at me, you scoundrel!” Its voice was bordering on the edge of hysterical. “This is a mill and not some arena for brainless stick waving giants!” Kylo looked around himself, taken aback and a little bit ashamed, when he saw that no one in the room appeared to be scared of him, he put his sword back into its scabbard.

The prince cleared his throat, “Who is we?” he asked, this time with pretended politeness.

“That’s none of your business, you brute.”

“Watch your tongue, creature,” Kylo growled.

“Would you please stop?” Armitage couldn’t take it any longer and spoke up. “Why did you want to know if I can bake?” He turned to the horned demon, who stuck his tongue at Kylo before giving his attention back to Armitage.

“Well that’s quite simple, isn’t it? It’s because I like them very much!”

“You like buchteln?”

“Yes, yes, yes! They are my foremost favourite food there ever was, you see? Elishka used to bake them,” he mumbled. “But then a handsome young fella like you came over and he took her away from here along with the miller, her father. So can you?”

“Well yes, I can. My mother taught me.” Armitage nodded reluctantly, he didn’t want this creature to make him into its own personal baker.

“YES!” The demon shrieked with glee and started dancing around the room, nearly tripping over his tail. “Will you bake some?” It quickly ran towards Armitage and nearly pressed its nose against his. “Will you?” It was so close that it was staring at him cross-eyed.

“Um…well…I don’t know if you have the goods for me to make it, but-“

“Oh, we have! I will find what we don’t have, just tell me!” It clapped its hands. “I will find it, I promise, I may be little but I’m very handy!”

“O-kay,” Armitage laughed nervously. “I…I need flour and yeast, sugar, butter, some eggs, milk and salt and jam.” He counted on his fingers and nodded with each word; the demon was watching him with a curious expression, licking his lips with the thought of eating his favourite pastry again.

“That’s all?” Armitage nodded. “Alright!” The demon clapped and disappeared. Kylo and Armitage watched a ball of light, into which the demon transformed himself, exited through the door.

 

“What a strange creature.” Kylo scratched his head; his hair was quite greasy after so many days without washing. He looked at Armitage who was watching him with a smirk on his lips. “What?”

“You were worried about me.”

“No, I wasn’t.”

“Yes, you were.” Armitage’s eyes sparkled. “You heard me screaming and you stormed in here like some beast. You were worried about me.”

“I wasn’t!” Kylo frowned. “I only…well…If the creature got you, then it would certainly attack me too, so I wanted to kill it while it was still feasting on your corpse, I didn’t want to wait outside for it to feed itself,” he huffed.

“Sure you were.” Armitage nodded and pursed his lips in a clearly mocking manner. “You should thank me, by the way.”

“Oh really? And why?”

“Because I’ve just found us a place to stay the night, duh.”

“Oh please, you were scared like a little babe that it’s haunted and now you want to play the hero? You didn’t find a thing, you fopdoodle.”

“Fopdoodle? I’m not a fopdoodle you-“ Armitage pointed his finger at Kylo and groaned because he couldn’t think of anything to retort back, “ugh! I’m going out until this hairy lunatic gets back and don’t you think that I will let you eat any of it!”

“Thanks but I’ll pass. I don’t want to die from food poisoning!” Kylo called after Armitage when he walked out to the doorstep.

“What?!” The ginger man stopped and turned around.

Kylo went after him. “You said your mother is a baker, that doesn’t mean that you can bake a thing! Plus, everyone knows that you beggars eat anything so you wouldn’t starve.”

“We are not beggars! And I can bake! Unlike you, I can provide for myself and don’t have to depend on the fact that I look like some walking mountain scaring people by my own looks because I am some super knight celebrity brat!” Armitage, in his rage, took off his boot and threw it at him.

It didn’t even fly that far.

Kylo made few steps towards him and Armitage took off his other shoe, missing again.

“Stop throwing your boots at me, pumpkin.”

“Don’t come near me, I can’t stand to look at you!”

“Then close your eyes.”

“I don’t want to talk to you, stop right there!” Armitage took more steps back.

“Pumpkin, stop.”

“No!”

“I’m serious, pumpkin; stop or you’re going to hurt yourself.”

“Stop telling me what to do and leave me be-eeeeee!”

Kylo started laughing when he saw Armitage falling backwards into the pond. He slowly went to the shore and peered above the reeds. Armitage resurfaced not long after with a frog sitting on his head. Kylo started laughing anew.

The frog jumped off of Armitage’s head as he started doggy paddling to the shore, probably even more shocked than the other man.

“Stop laughing, you idiot,” Armitage sputtered. “You could have warned me! Is this some hobby of yours? Making people fall into the water?”

“You swim like a dog, gods, this is…I warned you. It’s not my fault that you didn’t listen.” Kylo rubbed at his cheeks to wipe the tears away. “Anyway-“ Armitage got to the jetty, hoisted himself up and sat down with a loud slap of his wet clothes on the wooden surface. He took off his jacket and put it next to him. He then noticed that Kylo stopped talking and looked at him with disdain.

“Why are you staring at me?”

Kylo shook his head. “I’m not,” he mumbled.

He was staring.

Armitage’s wet and now see-through shirt was clinging to his slight form and left very little to his imagination. Why hadn’t he noticed before that Armitage was so thin and so…tiny? And that his nose was so pointy. He looked like a wet rat, but one that Kylo wanted to keep warm and protect.

“You’re doing it again.” Armitage cleared his throat.

“No, I’m not.” Kylo rubbed his eyes.

“Yes, you are,” said an unfamiliar voice from next to them. They both looked to the voice’s direction and cursed their luck. Especially Armitage, who was still sitting on the jetty and who was currently frozen on the spot. There, standing in the lake with only his upper half body visible, stood a vodyanoy. The green man seemed to be at least as tall as Armitage himself, he had long green hair and a long moustache (almost like a catfish) and was clad in green jacket and trousers and blue vest with red cravat around his neck. “And now both of you are staring at me. Great. It’s not a pleasant feeling, I must admit. You disturbed my fish.” He looked at Armitage and pointed at him with his finger.

“I’m…I’m sorry,” Armitage pipped, still afraid to move.

Kylo took three steps back from the lake and watch the green man in front of him. He knew that he was safe, or at least safer than Armitage, because he was further from the water and therefore there was a smaller chance that he would get drowned by the spirit.

“That’s okay,” the green man waved his hand. “They’re just oversensitive. Women,” he sighed and looked at Kylo who now stood three metres further than before. “Why are you standing there and not helping your darling here?”

„He’s not my…He can tend to himself,“ Kylo scowled, turned on his heel and stalked back towards the mill. How dare this stupid creature assume such things about him? He was a prince! And prince wouldn’t and couldn’t even think about such things as thinking about people like Armitage. And what more! Armitage was insufferable, ginger heathen from some stupid little village. Kylo was a prince. He was a prince. He was on a quest to find himself a wife and to break his own chains that were squeezing his soul and dragging it into the pit of Hell.

Armitage looked after Kylo with an uncertain expression. “Yeah, we are…we are not…not together, no.” He looked back at vodyanoy and rubbed his face. “You’re not going to drown me?”

The green man shook his head, “Don’t worry, youngling. I hate drowning people, it’s just too depressing,” he smiled at the baker. “What are you doing here, may I ask?”

“You may.” Armitage nodded.

“Then I’m maying,” laughed the vodyanoy.

“We are travelling north and the people in the nearby village told us that there is a haun- that there is a mill here and that we can sleep here if we want because it’s empty.”

“It is not empty.”

“Yes, we noticed.” Armitage nodded and stood up, shivering a little in his wet clothes. He bent down for his jacket and sighed. If his mother knew that his festive jacket would get such treatment, she wouldn’t have given it to him.

“Ah, so I take it you met my horned friend.”

“Yes, he wants me to bake for him.”

“Bake? Oh my, you can bake?!” The green man jumped from the water on the pier and grabbed Armitage’s shoulders.

“Ye-yes, yes, I can bake.”

“That’s just wonderful!” The vodyanoy practically shook with excitement. “We will show you where you can sleep if your baking is good enough. Which I am sure is, I have a nose for good people.” He nodded and Armitage laughed nervously. “You should probably let your clothes dry or you’re going to catch a cold and die. And we wouldn’t want that.”

“No,” Armitage said little breathlessly and smiled, “we wouldn’t want that.”


	6. Chapter 5

It turned out the hairy and over-enthusiastic devil wasn’t lying when he said he could get all the things that Armitage needed. When the young baker came back to the mill, with his clothes dry from the sun, he found all ingredients waiting for him at the table with the devil guarding them from Kylo, who was sitting on a bench near the oven.

“There you are! I was starting to get afraid that you changed your mind and ran away!” The devil hopped down from the table when he saw Armitage enter.

“No, I was… My clothes were wet so I was waiting for them to dry.”

“Your clothes were-oh no! Please, tell me that you were not speaking with the green fella?”

“Why?” Armitage frowned. Was he not supposed to speak with him? Was the vodyanoy dangerous?

“He’s just very strange. He’s an idiot… well, he’s my friend but…don't you dare tell him!” The devil shoved his finger into Armitage’s chest, the baker took a step back.

“Alright, alright, I won’t. Just… Give me some breathing space, alright?”

The devil nodded and backed away.

“Now… where do you keep bowls so I can start baking?”

 

Kylo was sitting on the bench when Armitage entered the house. He was clothed back in his old clothes, which was probably better because Kylo wouldn’t have to try to keep his eyes off him. Not that it would be hard, of course... Armitage was nothing but a nuisance. Nothing more.

He watched his profile as Armitage started making the dough, he watched his long fingers work with flour and eggs and after a while, he realised that he was staring. With a shake of his head, Kylo got up and stretched his back so his abrupt getting up wouldn’t seem weird.

“How long does it take before it’s finished?” Kylo asked when he came closer to examine Armitage’s work. Armitage looked at him, his jacket long forgotten on the chair behind him, and his shirt sleeves were rolled up to his elbows – his forearms were white from the flour, just like his nose where he smeared the white powder by accident.

“Why should you care? It’s not like you will be eating any of it.”

“Oh come on,” Kylo groaned. “You can’t be seriously mad at me, it was just a joke!”

“Just a joke?” Armitage put his arms on his hips. “You know what is just a joke? Your upbringing! Didn’t your parents teach you a little respect for others?”

Kylo made a face at that. They did teach him to behave kindly to others but he had other things on his mind. He was a prince! He didn’t need to behave kindly to peasants and the like of them.

“I thought so, now go sit in the corner or go out to swing your precious sword at trees! I don’t need you here to distract me if you’re not going to help me.”

“I wouldn’t want to be here with you anyway,” Kylo frowned and went outside. Ha, how could he even think that this person could be anything different than insufferable!

Maybe a walk around the surrounding woods would clear his head.

 

After he got back to the old mill, Kylo kept huffing and kicking stones in the yard for a long time. How could Armitage speak to him like that? Nobody had ever dared to speak to him like that or they should fear to lose their heads!

“Do you want to sit down?”

The vodyanoy startled Kylo so much that he lost his footing and nearly fell down on his ass.

“You should probably sit down, seeing how clumsy you are.”

Kylo gave him an angry look and went to sit down next him next to the mill wheel. He didn’t notice that the green man came over here from the pond, so he guessed it had to be some kind of magic.

“Why are you angry, huh? Is your darling boy making you angry?”

Kylo frowned at him, “He’s not my darling boy. He’s just a nuisance.”

“I see, I see.” The creature nodded. “I see… actually no, I don’t. I’m sorry. Why are you here with him if he’s just a nuisance?”

Kylo rolled his eyes, “We’re travelling together.”

“Why?”

“Because I am… we are both on a quest, we have to go north, I don’t know what business he does have there but I have to save a certain princess from the claws of an evil sorcerer.”

“Ah, so you are one of those people.” The vodyanoy nodded and hummed. “Are you a prince then? You look like a lordling.”

Kylo looked at the ground and sighed, “Yes, I am a prince. And I have to marry, that’s why I am going to save that princess. I am going to save her and take her home with me, where we will marry.” He rubbed his face. “Because that’s what princes do.”

“That’s curious.”

“Why should it be?”

“Because I saw you looking at that nuisance of yours. One would think that you like him.”

“Then you’re thinking wrong.” Kylo looked at him and got up.

“I don’t think so.”

“But you are! I am a prince! And he’s just a stupid brainless baker!”

 

Armitage stared at the scene in front of him with a betrayed look on his face and pain in his heart. He was just putting the baking tray out on the windowsill to cool down when he heard the conversation on the other side of the yard.

Kylo wasn’t just some knight, he was a prince. He was a prince and took him for a stupid brainless nuisance. Because that’s what princes do. They only marry princesses. Oh, how could he be so stupid?!

When he was little, his mother warned him about his heart being too easily swooned and taught him to guard his feelings. He had never felt anything for any girl in their little village and so he thought that maybe love just wasn’t for him.  When he saw how broken-hearted his mother was when his father left them, he decided to never fall in love. He asked her many times how he would know if he loved someone, because how can he be sure that it’s not just a mental derangement?

_ “You are going to feel like your heart has wings, Armie,” she told him one night when he was still a naïve little boy. _

_ “Will it grow wings, mama? Will it fly away?” He blinked at her with eyes full of wonder and the will to learn. _

_ She smiled at him fondly and ran her fingers through his fiery hair, “It will. But do not be afraid. If you give your heart the freedom to roam and to follow the one you love wherever they go, they will give you theirs in return.” _

_ “But what if they don’t? What if they take my heart and flee with it and I will be left alone? Will I die, mama?” He blinked rapidly, his eyes filling up with tears at the thought of dying. _

_ Madla shook her head and kissed his forehead, “I am still alive, am I not?” _

_ “But that’s because you have me, mama!” He insisted and she laughed. _

_ “You’re my clever little boy, Armie. Do you see? You will always have my heart for I will always love you, even when you are a man grown and far away from your home. You just have to promise me one thing, my little fox.” _

_ “What thing?” _

_ “Do not make the same mistake as me. Don’t let anyone break your heart.” _

And it seemed that he did just that.

How he hadn’t seen it earlier was beyond him. Kylo was a prince and he had repeatedly insulted him, screamed at him even. How was he still alive? Should he ask Kylo why he didn’t tell him? He seemed to be enjoying his fame and everything that went with it so why didn’t he tell Armitage his true heritage?

It was true that Kylo told him that he was no knight, but still…

 

When the pastry cooled down and the devil with vodyanoy found it delicious enough to let them stay the night, they decided to address the big question that was practically hanging above their heads.

Where would they sleep?

The devil told them that they would not sleep in this building because it was his sleeping place and his alone and he wasn’t keen on sharing it with anybody else. That meant that if they wanted to sleep, they would have to sleep in the upper part of the wooden mill.

It was better than sleeping on the floor, and if there was at least some hay they could use it instead of a mattress.

Kylo insisted on climbing the ladder first since he was hoping that if there was a bed, he would claim it as his and Armitage would have to do with whatever was left for him. And so Armitage waited on the ground, watching the prince climb up and contemplating if rattling the ladder and making him fall down would kill the raven-haired beast.

In the end, he decided against it, even though it was very tempting.

When he got upstairs too, Kylo was standing there with his hands on his hips, looking pointedly at the one piece of furniture that was standing in the middle of the free space.

“Ah,” Kylo turned to him when he heard him approach. “I hope that you won’t mind sleeping on the floor, there’s some hay so you should make do.”

“What?! What gives you the right to think that you should be the one that-“ Armitage stopped. He knew what gave Kylo the right to think that he was one that should sleep in the bed. He was a prince. And Armitage was nothing but a commoner. “Fine,” he grumbled and turned on his heel. It was no use arguing with Kylo, he would never make him change his mind. But Armitage wouldn’t give up without a fight. He wasn’t dumb. And he would show him.

“Fine?” Kylo blinked and watched him stride to the bed. Armitage grabbed the fluffy feather filled blanket and pillow and started walking to the pile of hay. “What- ...What do you think you’re doing?”

“If you’re going to sleep on the bed, I’m taking these.” Armitage shrugged.

“Like hell you are,” Kylo spat and in two long strides he was by his side, trying to wrestle the blanket out of his hands. “Give me the blanket.”

“No!”

“Give me the blanket or I’ll end you!”

“No!” Armitage stomped on Kylo’s foot.

For how slim Armitage was, he had enough strength to make Kylo whimper in pain. The prince howled and grabbed the blanket once more, this time he succeeded in yanking it out of his hands. He pulled so hard that it sent Armitage flying into the pile of hay. Kylo grunted and scowled, “When I say something, you’ll obey me, did I make myself clear?!” With that, he turned on his heel.

That was a mistake.

Armitage got to his feet in a whim and with all the force he could muster, he pushed Kylo to a side. There was another pile of hay, thank the heavens, or the prince would surely break his skull with how badly he fell.

Armitage’s revenge plan had only one flaw. He ran into Kylo and to push him down, he sent himself flying right after him.

They landed in the hay with a huff and smacked their noses together. “Ouch!” Armitage yelped and yelped once more when Kylo grabbed him and rolled him under him. 

“Why do you have to piss me off all the time?” 

“Piss you off?” Armitage gasped for breath, his eyes dancing across Kylo’s face. He wanted to punch him so much that it hurt. 

“Yeah, piss me off,” Kylo mumbled, his breath warm in Armitage’s face.

“You piss me off, too.” 

“Oh, do I?”

“Yes.” Armitage crouched his nose.

“You look like a rodent.”

“What?” Armitage sputtered. 

“When you do that, with your nose. You look like a rabbit. Or a rat.” 

“A rat?!” 

Kylo smirked, his hand cupping Armitage’s face. “Yes. A tiny scrawny rat.” 

“I’m not a rat, you-- you-- you lied to me!” 

Kylo blinked at the sudden change of topic. “I did?” 

“Yes,” Armitage growled. “You didn’t tell me, you...you’re a prince and you didn’t tell me!” He punched Kylo into his chest. “Get off me!” 

“You...You heard me talking to that vodyanoy?” Kylo didn’t move an inch. 

“Yes, I heard you all right, don’t you worry. I’m just a nuisance, right? Nothing else. Just a stupid baker, so get off me, your highness! I thought that...that--” Armitage didn’t have a chance to finish what he started because there were Kylo’s lips pushing against his own. His eyes widened at the foreign feeling that washed over him. He immediately relaxed into the hay beneath him and closed his eyes. All rage was gone all of a sudden, he felt like flying, he could swear he felt his soul leaving his body. Or maybe it was just the old grass smell speaking. 

“You taste like plum butter,” Kylo mumbled against his lips and kissed him again.

Armitage purred like a kitten instead of answering.

 

Sitting on the roof of the wooden mill, Poe silently laughed, hiding his magic wand. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


End file.
